Feigning Fern: Motherhood

When I began this blog, I made the decision not to post about my kids. Not because I'm not proud of them or don't enjoy talking about them, but because I'm tired of being thought of as just a mother. I am not just a mother. I'm still the same person I was before I had babies. I'm still me. I've been me a lot longer than I've been a mother. This is not to say that motherhood hasn't changed me, of course it has, but I am still a whole person. I'm still Anita (or Fern... OK, the name is really not the point here, I'm talking more about the essence of my being).

When my second child was a newborn I decided to do something just for me. I saw an ad in the paper inviting people to audition for a play that the local theatre group was staging. Perfect, I thought.?So I tried out, got the part I wanted, and began learning lines and attending rehearsals.

It felt really good doing something for myself. Making it to rehearsals when I had an infant and a two-year-old at home, as well as memorising all my dialogue before anyone else made me feel proud. I felt like a Super-Mum, and I felt like I counted for something. Most importantly, I felt like I was still my own person.

A few weeks into rehearsals my fellow cast-mates finally got around to asking me what I did.
Well, I said, I have a two-year-old and a newborn baby.
Oh OK, replied one cast-member, so you're just?a Mum then? You don't have a job or anything?


What. The. Hell.

I was furious. Seriously! What is that supposed to mean? Just a Mum?! I'd given birth only a few short weeks before! And I was in a play, it wasn't like I was sitting around on my arse day in, day out, doing nothing but feed and change my children.

I feel a bit pissed off just writing about it. I still want to know what else that woman expected me to be doing with my life at that point in time. Idiot.

Since then, I feel like a lot of people have written me off as Just a Mum. No matter what I do to try and prove myself as a person, I know that the first word that comes to their minds when they think of me is Mother. And yes, I love my children and I love being a mother, but I really hate that.

Sometimes I don't tell people I have children. It's interesting, because it makes me feel like I'm being viewed as a whole person. A person in my own right. A happy, intelligent woman who lives a rich and full life. When I finally reveal I have two little kids at home, well, you should see their faces... They can hardly believe it, and I just don't get it. I mean, what's not to believe?

So, for all you people out there, here is the truth: I am a Mother, but I'm a lot of other things too. I'm a writer, a poet, an actress, a musician, a crafter, and a student. I work in radio, and have other exciting job opportunities on the horizon. I like spending quiet time at home with my family, but I also like going out with my friends to drink and dance and be silly. Yes, I am a mother, but that's never going to stop me being me. My children do not complete me; I'm a whole all on my own.

Source: http://anitaslashfern.blogspot.com/2012/02/motherhood.html

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