Author Diane Ackerman: "One Hundred Names for Love ...

The title of Diane Ackerman?s latest memoir draws on the pet names her husband Paul had for her before he suffered from a stroke and had to relearn how to speak. Diane sparked his memory by reminding him of the hundreds of endearments: Dream Hobbit, Elk of Bright Morning, My Snowy Tangenyika, My Celestial Porcupine to name a few. Here?s more from Diane:

Jennifer Haupt: Why did you write this honest and inspiring account of your marriage?

Diane Ackerman: More than anything else, this is the crazy love story of two playful, romantic, deeply eccentric, word-obsessed people. I hope readers will find it a compelling and at times hilarious story about hope and patience in the face of heartbreak, about keeping love alive even in the midst of crisis. I hope they?ll learn interesting things about the marvel of language?something most of us use so easily, so smoothly, so naturally, so unthinkingly.

Also, at some point in all of our lives almost every one of us will become a caregiver?of a spouse, parent, grandparent, sibling, or child. Or we?ll be cared for by loved ones. I hope my book will offer hope and fresh ideas for how to cope gracefully and creatively.

JH: You write that your husband Paul once had ?so many pet names for me I was a one-woman zoo,? and his stroke has left him struggling to think of one. This is such a beautiful story of how you taught Paul to speak again by reminding him of the hundreds of love-inspired names he had for you. What are some of your favorites?

DA: There are so many. Spy Elf of the Morning Hallelujahs, My Little Spice Owl, Little Moonskipper of the Tumbleweed Factory, Fleet-footed Empress of Sleep, O Singing Squirrel of the Antipodes, My Little Bucket of Hair, Apostle of Radiant Postage Stamps, Rheostat of Sentimental Dreaming, Swan Boat of the Imperial Sun, Lovely Ampersand of the Morning.

JH: What has been the most challenging part of being married to another writer?for you and your husband?even before the stroke?

DA: On any given day, one person may receive an acceptance and the other a rejection. Or a magazine or publisher may prefer one writer to the other. Fortunately, we mainly work in different genres.

Like all couples, we fought at times, and we knew how to use words as edged weapons. Trust a writer to come up with unusual slurs! Sometimes they were so funny that we?d crack up laughing and the quarrel would be over; once humor enters the argument it?s hard to keep fighting.

Living with anyone for many years takes skill. To keep peace in the household, couples learn to adapt to one another, hopefully in positive ways. Laughter and humor helped us put things in perspective. Play often relieved the tension in the relationship, and renewed intimacy and acceptance.

JH: I love this quote from Paul about the frustration of trying to call up words after his stroke: ?the word I sought lay like an angel, begging to be used, even if only to be used in spirit ditties of no tone.? How did you two people so passionate about words learn to communicate without words?

DA: It was a challenge. Almost at once I began exploring new ways to communicate, through affection, gestures, pantomime, facial expressions, animal sounds, play. But especially affection, which communicates wordlessly and so well. Our nonverbal behaviors?the way we look at, listen, and react to someone?can send strong messages. They can convey a sense of interest, trust, love, and especially the desire to stay connected. This isn?t something that takes learning, because we?re always giving and receiving wordless signals without realizing it, from the way we stand or sit, to how much eye contact we make, or how loud or fast we speak. It?s just a matter of being aware of it and doing it on purpose.

JH: Your writing is so gorgeous and lush?it sets my imagination free like very few nonfiction authors can do. I?ve always wanted to ask if you?ve tried fiction or have any desire to do so?

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DA: Thank you so much! I consider fiction a very high-class form of lying. I enjoy and admire it enormously, but I don?t think I?m very good at it. I?ve written a few short stories, published one of them. Who knows, I may give it another try some day.

JH: Do you believe in writing muses, or some kind of higher power that ignites and supports your creativity? If so, how do you signal to your writing muse that you are ready to work? Do you have any writing rituals?

DA: I?ve always found it best to have a routine. I go to my study at the same time every day and climb into my bay window. I may not be inspired everyday, but on the days I am I need to be in place to write. If I?m not particularly inspired, I?ll revise or do research or correspondence.

JH: What?s the One True Thing you learned from Paul during his recovery, watching him struggle with learning to speak again?

DA: That love conquers all.

Dr. Diane Ackerman is the author of twenty-three books of poetry and nonfiction, including most recently ONE HUNDRED NAMES FOR LOVE, which was a finalist for the 2012 Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Circle Critics Award. Of late, she has been writing on ?nature and human nature? in the Opinion pages of the New York Times. She has the somewhat unusual distinction of having a molecule named after her, dianeackerone (a sex pheromone in crocodiles). Please visit Diane's website: www.dianeackerman.com.

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